What we must judge

If we judge as good and evil only the things in the power of our choice, then there is no room left for blaming gods or being hostile to others”

Marcus Aurelius. Mediations. 6.41

Most of us spend our life blaming and criticising the other. The other includes the world, the government, the people close to us, the traffic and even the weather. We live our lives in constant complaint. Understand that complaining is a subtle way to gain a sense of control. The fact of the matter is that we feel weak and helpless when we are unable to arrange the other according to our preferences. And thus, we fight them. And when we are still unable to change them, we descend into complaining.

Some of us turn that complaining inward into self-blame and self-pity. And a few others, bury their head in the sand and just avoid talking about the problem altogether. All these three reactions – other-blame, self-blame and avoidance are counterproductive. They do not build our character and do not promote stability and tranquillity in our lives. What must we then do?

As Marcus Aurelius says, we must only judge our intentions and actions, for they are under our control. Everything else simply is and inherently out of our control. We have no choice but to accept it – not with a defeated attitude – but with understanding and acceptance.

To understand this, we must understand one of the most precious teachings of the Stoics, known as, The Dichotomy of Control. This is often the very first of the Stoic teachings and a critical arrow in one’s character quiver. The Dichotomy of Control simply means this – there are things in life which you can control and there are things in life that you cannot control. We must act on the things we can, and simply accept the things we cannot. The only things we can control are our aspirations, our desires, our intentions and our actions. The things we cannot control are – the behaviour of others (especially those close to us!), the government, the world, our health, our financial affairs, and our relationships. This might appear strange. Why do the Stoics include things like our health under things we cannot control? To understand this, we need to delve a little deeper into what health means.

What is in our control is to make up our minds to exercise. What is in our control is to take daily walks. What is in our control is to eat a healthy diet. Yes, these things can increase the probability of staying healthy. But they are no insurance against ill health. Healthy and active people also fall sick. Some die unexpectedly. And therefore while our actions to promote good health are in our control, good health itself isn’t.

The mind automatically swings to the opposite extreme, “If I have no control over my health why should I even put in the effort to exercise?”. It is precisely this goal-oriented thinking that the ancient people advised us against falling into. The same sentiment is echoed in the Bhagavad Gita, where, Krishna tells Arjuna “Your right is to the action alone and not to its fruits. Let not your attachment be to the fruit of your actions, and yet, not to inaction”. This quote from Chapter 2, summarises the philosophy of the Gita. We must act because that is what needs to be done. That is our nature. That is what comes to us naturally. We do not act for health, for a happy marriage, or for secure finances. Those are by-products that may happen, or they might not. We have no way of telling. All we can do is act, for that is under our control.

This philosophy may seem life-negating. An austere philosophy that has no rewards of a place in heaven after death, or of untold pleasures that one can enjoy. But that is not the case. One does what comes naturally to one. One acts because there is pure joy in the very act. And thus, while the teaching appears austere, it is in fact setting us free from stress and dissatisfaction. It helps us stay tranquil whether or not things go according to what we expected.

Therefore, all of us must begin to examine what we can control and what we can’t. And for those things over which we have no influence – we must train ourselves to accept it. What this does is it shifts the focus to the things that we can indeed shape and change. That is, our attitude, our inner desires that are desperately waiting to bubble up into expression, our will – in essence – all those things that we haven’t paid attention to over the years, simply because we were busy with the other.

Slowly, over time, we begin to gain control and a sense of mastery over our lives. And one finds that one becomes exceedingly effective in one’s actions. One is efficient and hardly succumbs to emotional fits. One is set free from the other. This is the highest value that a human being can aspire to in this life. And something that we ought to be very grateful to the ancient philosophers.