In the previous post, we saw how the psychological preconditions of capitalism are fear and greed. Capitalism thrives on a profound sense of lack that individuals and societies experience. This makes people crave an endless array of products, services and experiences. The endpoint is a sense of satisfaction, which unfortunately remains forever illusory.
In this post, let’s delve a little deeper into this mind movement and explore how we can bring up our children in this anti-life system that we humans have built for ourselves.
We begin with the understanding that while the accumulation of money and material wealth is critical to the definition of ‘success’ in capitalism, what people are really after is fame. Fame is the recognition from several people that ‘I am somebody important‘. Success then, is always defined in relation to how we are perceived by society. The focus is always on how people think I have succeeded, instead of being content by myself.
At the root of this psychological lack is a need to be loved, accepted and belong. This is usually a result of an upbringing – both in the house and also in the greater social environment – where one is made to feel that one is not enough. When parents and society bring up children to feel inadequate (“Look at the neighbour‘s children“) it instils in children a sense that they need to achieve things to be accepted by their parents. The same is true in school, where we are ranked and sorted based on how well we pass a few tests. This tells the ‘weaker’ students that they are inferior. It also damages the ‘strong’ students by telling them that their sense of self is derived from the appreciation they get from society. This is why, sometimes, but not always, the high-performing students tend to be ridden with anxiety and depression. They are always afraid of being unloved by their bosses, colleagues or their classmates in university. The whole dysfunction begins with society not knowing how to bring up children.
Instead, can we bring up children, where they feel loved and valued – for just being who they are? Can we embrace them when they fail a test and whisper into their ears, “You haven’t failed. Your actions have”? Can we tell our children that the failure only stems from not applying the learning methods properly, and is in no way reflective of the child’s capabilities? Almost immediately, some observers will argue that, if we begin to bring up children with such freedom, there is a risk that they get good at nothing. Another oft-touted argument is that the world is a Darwinian battleground where only the fittest survive. But I think this concern is misplaced. Yes, the world is competitive and harsh, but the world values true competence. Look at all those quiet masters who have spent their lives developing their skills and expressing their unique interests by working on what they truly enjoyed, without having to pander to social expectations.
Leonardo Da Vinci, one of the greatest creative minds, influenced by this goal-seeking tendency, ruefully wrote this in his diary
“Tell me if anything was ever done. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me if ever I did a thing.. Tell me if anything was ever made?”
Da Vinci’s diary, through Water Isaacson’s book. Leonardo Da Vinci.
Isaacson, however, goes on to say this,
“Seek knowledge for its own sake. Not all knowledge needs to be useful. Sometimes it should be pursued for pure pleasure. Leonardo did not need to know how heart valves work to paint the Mona Lisa, nor did he need to figure out how fossils got to the top of mountains to produce the Virgin of the Rocks. By allowing himself to be driven by pure curiosity, he got to explore more horizons and see more connections than anyone else of his era.”
Walter Isaacson. Leonardo Da Vinci.
True success is when our children are content, being who they are. This does not mean that they idle away their lives watching television. This means that they spend their lives expressing curiosity and developing true skills in the field of their interest. This is opposed to how most people bring up their children. Today we bring up children to succeed in getting a college degree from that prestigious institution, wealth and fame and material success, entrepreneurial fame and glory and so on. And what has this done to those people who have attained this? Anxiety, depression, drugs and other forms of compulsive behaviour. And to release the frustration we feel in not aligning our careers with our deepest proclivities, we stultify our minds through meaningless entertainment and streaming services. Thus, those children who were taught how to pursue success ended up being most unhappy with themselves and needing compulsive escape mechanisms to feel real, to feel alive. What a waste of a life!
We have therefore seen, that capitalism is founded upon and sustained by individuals who need to feel accepted and loved – individuals with unmet emotional needs. This creates the drive to seek fame, and glory in what society values (money, popularity, status objects, and so on). This constant lack is exploited by corporations who constantly tell people (through advertising) that they need these products and services to feel worthy of themselves. This in turn sets in motion an unending cycle of wanting more and feeling more empty, which in turn has a devastating impact on the environment.
This doesn’t mean that we shut down markets, or move into socialist systems. No, that is another form of individual suppression. What we need is to protect the ability of humans to express themselves creatively without any curtailment. When humans begin to live their lives as an expression of their creative interests, truly valuable products and services can come into being. Think of a craftsman, working at home, carving beautiful spoons out of wood. Or a teacher, teaching mathematics out of pure love for the subject. Or a mother, cooking nutritious meals for her children. Then, people find joy in themselves, in the creative expression of themselves in activities of their choice. They don’t need to work for famed corporations trying to enhance shareholder value or achieve corner offices, or astronomically high numbers on their paycheck. We begin to take joy in ourselves and in the simplicity of living life. We don’t need the appreciation of others to feel complete. We don’t need likes or shares. We don’t need to appear on fancy magazine covers. We simply feel content for being who we are, and doing what we do.
Journey of a thousand words 